Breakthrough Burnout

featherCultivating wonder is what I do for a living. Which makes it, you know, my day job – and, every so often, I lift my head from my work and realize, “I am getting bored with miracles.”

The daily grind of same thing, over and over wears on everyone – but when it happens with miracles, it double sucks.

‘Breakthrough Burnout’ is a peculiar malady, specific to mystics and psychics and healers and intuitives who juggle white light for a living.

The symptoms: Ennui in the face of the miraculous, frustration and overwhelm with the sheer number of angel feathers and pennies from heaven they are asked to store; and a general ho-hum with the notion that there is a Divine intelligence that loves and engages us.

Ho hum with miracles? Seriously?

When I catch myself in this place, I laugh – often in public places, in full view of ‘normal’ people. Which does not help. I ask myself: How is this even possible?

When I ask this, I am speaking to the miracle-maker, the One who sends the feather, the rainbow, the handful of glitter that endlessly flutters around my life. I ask because I can’t believe it. Can’t understand it.

How can a person be jaded, ‘over it,’ bored with miracles?

The Senders of miracles seem to find this amusing, too. I hear them kinda chuckling, in a familiar, we’re in this together sort of  way.

And then They up the stakes.

  • They set my car on fire.
  • They send wild technicolor dreams that wake me gasping and amazed
  • They double my income, overnight
  • They make me finally, really fall (profoundly and deeply) in love with my husband after 26 years of marriage – and they do this while I am writing a memoir about the heart (and planning, as I used to do, to leave him when I got my first royalty check)

Then, they up the stakes again.

They start talking out loud – so I can hear them. They send me three books to write, for them, as a … channel.

I used to think they were doing this to get my attention – to re-generate wonder – to take me out of auto-pilot but that’s not what’s going on.

They’re not doing this to me. I am.

They’re just always there. Always flowing. Always ready and eager and willing to play with me.

When I ask them what to do, they tell me.

  • Put down the miracle story for a while
  • Walk, talk, touch things
  • They make me remember: I have a body and flash images through my mind of healthy meals, lemon water, long walks, yoga.
  • They flash pictures of nature and encourage me to re-engage with the physical, material world (preferably in a way that does not involve shopping, since shopping only presents more miracles.)

They remind me that, because I live in a universe of miracles, my way of cultivating wonder can be, engaging the mundane. 

I can wash the dishes, feeling the slimy smooth lather of the dish soap on my hands, fold the laundry, burying my face in a towel, inhaling the out of the dryer fresh scent. I can walk the trash to the curb, my whole body shivering in the December chill – and love the way that feels.

I can go and talk to my husband about his work – and actually listen I can call my mother – and pulse heartbeats of love to her. I can visit my dad at the nursing home – and hold his twisted old hand.

For me, cultivating wonder won’t involve writing in my journal or prayer or meditation. It might mean that I go to yoga and stay in my body the whole 75 minutes – a TRUE wonder for me. It might mean that I stop and pluck the dry leaves from the geranium, the hydrangea, the African violet.

At some point, I will feel the whisper of wonder return. It always does – it always will. The miraculous was there all the time. It is the house where we live. And through cultivation of the delights (and miracles) of everyday living, we open the door and invite ourselves back home.

Recent Posts
Showing 33 comments
  • Shelly
    Reply

    I love that the way you cultivated wonder in your life was to turn off the miracles and then they just got brighter and clearer!!! (see why you scared me at CIP? Lol). YOU are a wonder 😉

    • Amy
      Reply

      Scared you? Oh, no! That will never do… how will we become friends? The truth is, we’re all wonders – we just have to let ourselves shine our own particular wonder into the world.

      • Shelly
        Reply

        Yes- almost everyone I meet is a wonder!!! You scared me because you were seeing things that I wasn’t ready to deal with yet and seeing things that I hadn’t even thought of either…. Then Kat jumped in with the same stuff and I was like OH NO!!! 🙂

        We are friends!! 🙂 I may be the quiet friend who just pipes up every once in a while – but I am catching back up and figuring things out and I’ll be a chatty Kathy before you know it 🙂

  • Michael Rusk
    Reply

    The glimpse behind the curtain was encouraging to me. I rralize now that even perfect people have ‘off’ moments. I love reading your blog.

    DeciduousTree

    • Amy
      Reply

      Perfect? Ha! But yes, we all have on moment, we all have off moments. #OnlyHuman So glad the post was encouraging for you. And doubly glad you stopped by. 🙂

  • Erin Margolin
    Reply

    My dear Amy—

    Every post you write is a miracle. So even when you think you’re in the midst of burnout? You are emanating sheer genius.

    Also? You said (wrote) “Fuck.”

    Love it.

    • Amy
      Reply

      And I got in so much trouble with Susan Powers for that! LOL 🙂

      • Michael Rusk
        Reply

        Why would Susan be upset … it was a raw word! 🙂

  • Dayna
    Reply

    Yeah, really liked this, esp. the reminder of the wonder in the mundane.
    Thanks!

  • wholly jeanne
    Reply

    well, when you put mundane like this, the wonder is obvious. what a great post.

  • Allison Nazarian
    Reply

    Beautiful. Thank you.
    Was just reading tonight about miracles. And that all of them happen around us or outside of us, but right inside of us. And I think that is what you are saying too — in your own unique and lovely and profound way.
    xo

  • Lisa MB
    Reply

    I loved this, Amy. (And the f word made it better. 🙂 )

    I grow tired of hearing about “other” people’s miracles.

    I am convinced that God(dess) moves mountains, walks on water, rains money down from the sky for everyone else but me.

    And when things went south, I knew I was right.

    One day, I looked out the window and saw a robin. I laughed as the Uni brought back the memory of my then 6 y/o daughter who screamed from the back of the car on our 1st visit to Illinois, “Look mom, that bird has an orange belly!”

    You see, she had spend her 1st 6 years in Phoenix, AZ, and had never seen one.

    I return to that memory often to remind myself that miracles exist in my life, too. Even in the mundane. I just need to pay attention.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Orange bird bellies are miracles indeed. So are six year old daughters – and their moms. 🙂

  • Tracy Mangold
    Reply

    Love your post. It is finding joy in the every day things – things we all too often take for granted that make life so special. Those are the moments that come back to us time and again and keep us going. Bless you!

  • Marjory
    Reply

    The simple can be the most miraculous, in its own way, in its own raw nakedness.

    I love reading your truth Amy. I also your love of family, it warms my heart every time.

    “I call my mother – and pulse heartbeats of love to her.”

    I am sending you too heartbeats of appreciation. Love!

  • Cindy
    Reply

    Your blog post reminds me of all the mundane miracles in my life today – one, that I can squalor the day away and not feel bad about it! And two, it is a miracle that I have a few fresh new ideas for future blog posts and have started writing them out, and three, that I have a roast in the oven, smelling heavenly, four, that my hubby dearest is napping on the couch watching Gamecock football, yada, yada. Ho hum!

    • Amy
      Reply

      Yada, yada. Ho hum, indeed. Sounds perfect.

  • Rebecca
    Reply

    Beautiful post! And thanks, dear Amy, for reminding us of the reason we live in bodies!

  • Liz
    Reply

    You make my heart sing

    • Amy
      Reply

      Let me see if I can make a little heart thingee here… <3

      • Amy
        Reply

        It works on Facebook… What I meant was: Heart you.

  • amanda
    Reply

    This post makes me want to go and read your whole blog! Love!

    • Amy
      Reply

      🙂

  • jane
    Reply

    this made a little peice of armor fall off my heart – i have been in the presence of miracles and synchronicities and unfoldings lately and i often feel over whelmed – it is so good to hear your story of that too…..thank you

    • Amy
      Reply

      I heard the plink – wondered what it was that fell. Thanks for clearing that up – and for stopping by the blog. So nice to meet you!

  • Cherry Woodburn
    Reply

    Breakthru burnout. Tired of miracles. At some level I understand, yet it’s hard to imagine tiring of miracles. Part of it for me is that I’m going thru a dry period, good things are happening but haven’t been able to manifest what I want – like more income, tired of penny-watching, not flying to see my son in Austin because of lack of $. Like more sign-ups for free course. Actually those are the two things. Any suggestions for getting in the right space for manifesting those miracles? Seriously. Cherry

    • Amy
      Reply

      Well, yes, actually. The best way I know is to start a twice daily practice of gratitude. Morning, when you wake up and evening, just before sleep – write down (writing makes it real) all the ways that, in spite of what’s not working, you are blessed. It’s Roto Rooter for the soul.

      I use this instead of affirmations and prayer – or with them. What it seems to do is re-program the energy and dismantle resistance. When you see and acknowledge the flow of light, love and life energy AT ALL; it opens you just enough that the flow that is there – because you’ve already summoned it through the work you’ve already done – can come to you. And once it starts flowing, the energy does the rest of the work. As long as you continue to practice gratitude, there will be ever more to be grateful for. (It’s one of those laws of the universe: Increase creates increase.

  • Susannah
    Reply

    “Then, How is this even possible? I ask, speaking to the Presence that is always there. How can a person be jaded, ‘over it,’ bored with miracles?

    Fuck.”

    these 3 sentence made me want to get to know you more 😀 x

    • Amy
      Reply

      I knew if I used the F word on my blog, something would happen. 🙂

  • Gin
    Reply

    Love this! Breakthrough burnout is a great concept. I’ve done “great” work with young people, making videos, and doing things that seem like refreshing play from the outside. It take some really big mojo to get through the daily grind of even the best routine.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Really big mojo is right – and what great work you do! Thanks so much for stopping by – and letting me know that you did!

pingbacks / trackbacks

Leave a Comment