Find your pond

I was talking with a young man – about 30 – at the cafe yesterday. He’d been laid off – an attorney who used to work for a firm where, as he described it, “Everyone was skinny and high strung. I’m heavy. That’s why I can’t find a job.”

He was kinda chunky – but not obese. He had that kind of King Henry the Eighth look about him – even a neatly trimmed beard. And I hope he won’t mind my telling you his first name (because it’s relevant to the story): Pierre.

“Pierre means stone,” I said. “It’s French.”
“I know,” he smiled. “So am I.”

What a kind person, I thought. It was in his eyes – they were warm and full of fire. He wasn’t the least bit frightened about “the economy” or cowed by the fact that, as he told me, his wife was now making all the money. But that can’t-find-a-job-cuz-I’m-heavy thing rankled. And by rankled I mean, I couldn’t let it go.

And as soon as I noticed that, a flood of imagery dropped into my awareness.

This is guidance – it’s what happens now. And I know that when it does, I’m going to have to find a way to share what I’m seeing. (I used to swallow it; stuff it down; ignore it. Now I just blurt it out.)

“You know…” I said, clearing my throat a couple of times. (I’m still not completely comfortable with this “gift”) “Why not find a job at a place where everyone is like you. Friendly and warm. Big energy. Big heart.”

“Yeah, big everything,” he chuckled.

“Well, actually -yes,” I nodded. “You are big – everywhere. But it’s not bad or wrong. It suits your energy. (It was here I let on what I do for a living – my work as a chronicler of angel stories and more recently, an intuitive consultant. I asked his permission to continue, granting that some people aren’t into this kind of thing – that I wouldn’t be offended – but I have some guidance for him.)

“No, no,” he said. “I mean, yes, please tell me. I’d like to hear it.”

Here’s what I told him: “You are kingly, not fat. You are big and wide and solid as stone. Your name suits you – your size suits you. The guidance is telling me that instead of trying to fit yourself into a place – and this isn’t just at work, it’s everywhere – where you perceive yourself as ‘too big or too much’ why not find an environment that fits you? Look for a place where being ‘big’ is honored and valued, a place where everyone is big and round and cheerful and helpful and kind – like you.

“Don’t try to twist yourself into a pretzel to conform to the culture of a place where you feel out of place, out of touch, different, exposed, vlunerable. Leave. Right now. Find your pond.

“Find my pond,” he said. He had that deer in headlights look people get when they hear something important. I smiled at him and turned back to my work. He turned back to his.

Laptops up, I sipped my iced tea; he, his coffee.

Ten minutes later, he leaned over. “You inspired me deeply,” he said. “I just sent a query to the firm I really admire, where Id really like to work. A place where… well, before today I didn’t feel ‘big’ enough. Now I did… I do.”

We shook hands and he packed up to go. As he left, “You’ll find your pond,” I told him.

And because guidance is NEVER only for one person – I asked myself (and I’m asking YOU now) Have you found your pond?

Tagged as: authenticity, inspiration, mission, Shine