My mother and I have a secret code. When she gets to feeling anxious – which happens to her a lot – she looks at me and asks, “What is that thing we say?” and I, knowing just what she means, say, “So what?”
“Yes,” she sighs, sinking back into her pillows. “So what?”
What we mean is: So what that I am feeling this way or that way? There is no story here – no drama to get caught up in. No reason for this anxiety that we have to investigate.
No need to spin ourselves into a frenzy trying to figure out WHY she is feeling anxious. That just holds our attention on the anxiety – and that just makes it increase.
We’ve found that meeting her anxiety with our secret code, asking, “So what?” the anxiety just sits there, not bothering anyone.
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That is beautiful, precise and incredibly insightful. Well done for both you and your mother.
Thank you! And thanks for stopping by to leave a comment.
Such a helpful easy way to stop the spinning. I want to remember it in the middle of the night and tell my husband too. THank you.
It really does help – the mind needs to rest, too.
So simple. I can hear you saying the words. This is one to remember…
As I hear your voice, dear friend, in this comment.
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