Open Heart Surgery

ONEJanuary 10th: Two weeks after open-heart surgery, my mother wakes up.A few days later, she wakes again. "Look at the beautiful lights," she says. "They're everywhere." Awestruck, I stand in her room in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. Can this be? A few minutes earlier, after her doctor said, "She could live or die," I fled to a corner of the hospital hallway, sobbing. "Fill my mother's room with angels!" I demanded. "You owe me!"I walked back in and "Look," she says, giggling. "There's my favorite - the little green one sitting on the foot of the bed."-----A few hours later, she wakes again and asks my sister, Beth, "How long are we going to have to wait around? It's been like three hours already!""It's been three weeks," Beth says."You had heart surgery.""Come on!" Mom laughs. We have to show her the scar on her chest before she believes it.Send me a sign. Send me a sign. Send me a sign, I pray and pray. As Beth is exiting the ladies room, a homeless woman hands her a mass card with a painting of Archangel Michael on the front. "Your mother is going to be fine," she says.Beth hands me the card, "I think this is for you," she smiles.TWODad wheels into Mom's room in his power wheelchair the first time. She's been sent to the same nursing home where he lives for two months of post-op recovery."There you are!" he says, his eyes filled with tears."Here I am!" she croaks, grinning. He wheels up, taking her hand.THREEMy book. My book. My book.FOURThe friends who rallied around me - in real life, on Twitter and Facebook. Each one a miracle.FIVENina, the proud, fierce, 24/7 home care aide (who is NOT Russian (she's from Georgia and don't forget it)) who moved into Mom's room in the nursing home and took care of her all the way home.)SIXMy husband's unbearable, unbelievable support in all things - then and now.SEVENBuilding this blog (and our incredible friendship) in the middle of the night with Susan PowersMy phone call with the charming - and hilarious - SEO expert Bernie PiekarskiEIGHTKatie's freshman film! Kazow!NINEThe argument I had with my son, Max, and, after that, the hug that healed us both.TENMy mother's best friend, Esther, a doctor, who saved Mom's life, three times - and counting - and taught me what devotion looks like.ELEVENJenny and beautiful Sarah, observing their love for each other. Breathtaking.Rosy being okay, again.Cerulean climbing on my lap for the first time and hugging me.Discovering Leo at Mom's house the day after Thanksgiving. What a great kid!TWELVETaryn, always there, all the time, a current of friendship that runs under my life like a river.THIRTEENThe circle of wise women I have met through Twitter - you know who you are

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Timelessness and the radical healing of past wounds

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11 Things I no longer need