Sea of Miracles: my story

No matter who you are – or what your belief system – there is a gentle, loving presence with you all of the time: a presence that wants, more than anything, your happiness, your peace.

I am not just saying this – I know that it’s true. You see, I talk with angels – and they talk with me.

I know that sounds all woo woo and weird – and  six years ago, if you’d told me I’d be writing those outrageous words, I’d have laughed. Then, I probably would have cried.

Though it looked like I was doing okay – I was married, with two beautiful healthy kids, and a great job – I was desperately unhappy. My marriage was strained, my kids were growing up and out of the house and, though I loved my work, it felt empty, repetitive and without purpose.

Deep inside, I felt a pressure building that was so huge that there were moments when I literally felt that I would blow apart. And believe me, I did. I raged, I cried, I carried on – blaming everyone and everything in my life.

It was my husband’s fault.

It was my parents’ fault.

Other times, I blamed myself: I was always tired, always on the run; doing all of the things which, I would have told you then, everyone else should have been doing for themselves.

I had a vague but increasingly strong vision of what I was missing – a dream I should be,I could be living… if only? If only what? I didn’t know. I longed to write and to travel but both of these pursuits felt selfish to me – so far removed from my ‘real’ life that they seemed like mist.

We were deeply in debt, my self-employed husband worked long and hard, and so did I, yet we lived paycheck to paycheck, unable to catch up. Weekends were spent catching up on housework and desperately trying to relate to my children. I felt like a bad mother, a terrible wife – and forget about housekeeping.

With all of this stress, I began to experience eye-piercing migraines that left me sobbing on the sofa for three-six days each month.

One day, in the middle of a business meeting at work – a simple conversation about something we’d discussed every week – I burst into tears for no reason, as if a dam had broken and my emotions could no longer be contained. “What’s wrong?” my baffled boss asked.

“I don’t know,” I told her.

But deep inside, a voice whispered, Yes you do. 

I’d always been a spiritual dabbler – I had a relationship, of sorts, with a ‘presence’ which, every so often I remembered to turn to.

That day, lying on my bed of pain, I reached out: God, I said. Please stop this pain;  please give me something meaningful to do; and, please, oh please, make it about more than just me.

A few days later, I was asked to write a column about angels and my life changed forever.

The change happened slowly, drop by miraculous drop. But today, I can honestly say that my life has been transformed by light. My marriage is absolutely beautiful. My work astonishes me with its magic. I feel younger and happier than I have ever felt. My headaches are gone. I’ve lost three dress sizes.

Sea of Miracles is the story of what happened to me – and what can happen for you.  As the angels showed me, We are waiting to transform your life, too. All you have to do is ask…