Day six of the aftermath and I awake this morning feeling gratitude. Only gratitude. Gone is the overwhelm. The fear. The resentment. Gone is the daily expectation that today will be the day the lights come back on.
My family got through this unharmed. Our home is intact. I am grateful for this and my heart goes out to those who were not as lucky. Because this is luck. You lived in the path of the storm or you didn’t. Today I woke up thinking about that and about how, in such a short time – six days – our lives have changed so much.
What I am remembering…
Conversation. Over lit candles. Huddled in sweaters, wrapped in blankets, hands around a steaming mug, friends across the bonfire. I have missed this. And them.
Silence. Without the tv and computer. Without the constant interruption of ringing telephones and urgent deadlines. I am remembering quiet. Peace. Silence. It’s amazing how quiet the house is without the constant hum of the refrigerator. I have missed this.
I am remembering how little effort it takes to change a habit and how little time. I no longer reach for the light switch as I enter an inky black room. I reach for matches, candles. A familiar wall. I will remember this.
This morning, brewing tea in my cup by the light in my cell phone and the gas jet of the stove. I savor the warmth and blessed taste of our modern world. This tea grown in China and India was blended in Boston and flown to my mailbox by FedEx. It was expensive and worth every penny. I am grateful for those pennies. For this flavor. For the protection of these walls that held my family safe in the storm and holds them still.
When this is over… When the power surprises us today or a week from now… Zooming back on – lights, sounds, the buzz of power flowing back thru the veins of our home, I will remember how in the darkness, clustered around a tower of homemade candles, we rediscovered light.