This is the day: An open letter to my small and frightened self
This is the day. Come home. Step out of the story you’ve been living in for so long – the story that something is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. Come home.
This is the day when you stop trying so hard,
to fill what is missing,
to repair what is broken
and conceal what is flawed.
Come here. Let me see you. There is nothing wrong.
Step into the story that you already know is true – the story I’ve been whispering for years: You are love emerging inside a world of love.
Forget the blank spot, the blind spot, the missing chapters.
the blemish the wrinkle the spider vein the stain the squint the confusion the untidy living room.
None of this matters now
Let the natural flow of life, of time fill in the skipped-over blip in the pattern where you tripped:
over your own tongue, your own toe. Let it happen easily, quietly: these veils that hold you separate are not real.
And that feeling you’ve been having that something’s about to explode
– that’s expansion, emergence. The seed bursting out of the pod.
And all of it…
the ache in your bones, the rasp in your throat, that Adele song going round and around in your head.
It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay.
– something is dissolving
your terror your arrogance your excuses
– someone is speaking
in your voice, already working out the sound
of a new language that you already know how to speak
I am not a blank spot in the world
I AM REAL
and I matter.
And that hole in the road that keeps catching your heel?
It’s an invitation – take off your shoe
and feel the ground:
Mama Earth beneath your feet.
You are held here.
You are safe here.
Rest into the certainty of that,
The clarity of being held
where you are.
And from there, from anywhere,
Rise into your own heart
and look around
look into the darkness.
around your own warm heart,
beneath the cool surface
of the soil,
and last years broken leaves,
in the roots of things.
Seeds are stirring. (Don’t miss this.)
(Don’t worry. Rest. You can’t miss this.)
It’s not about ‘being your best self’ any more –
You’re already your best self.
And anyway, we’re out of time.
And I’m tired. Bone tired.
And so are you.
Stop pretending it’s not real.
You are love emerging into a world of love.
You are the seed and the soil.
You are the opening and the light that spills through it.
Come home now.
this is the day.