Awakening: What a LightWorker can (and can not) do about Darkness

All over the world, people are awakening and reaching for light. Still, there are days when it seems that there has never been more suffering.

When I decided to hang my LightWorker shingle in the window of the world, I thought I’d be guiding people out of boring jobs, dead end marriages, and unhealthy lifestyles. I thought I’d be leading them across the bridge – out of a world of struggle and suffering into a world of light.

The awakening, as it turned out, would be my own. For the longer I held open the door of my Lightworker office, the more clients appeared to teach me about darkness. Their beautiful and terrible stories – of abuse, neglect, and abandonment – stood my hair on end. They broke my heart. They also broke my heart open.

As Brene Brown discovered (and discussed in her TED Talk), “ When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask people about belonging, they’ll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. When you ask people about connection, she said, the stories they tell are about disconnection.

This is how it is in Lightworker land.

I invited people to talk about angels and miracles and they brought me stories of cruelty and suffering. I led a forum on joy and they wanted to talk about heartache.

When I offered safe space, they poured into it terror, worry and pain – and there, in the cauldron of community, with their willingness to tell the truth about all the ways the world had let them down, my clients showed me what it really means to be a LightWorker.

A LightWorker’s ‘job’ is not floating on a cloud of positive affirmations tossing glitter and rainbows into the world. A LightWorker’s job is to hold the space for light – no matter what.

It’s that no matter what that complicates things. It’s easy to hold onto light in the crystal cocoon of a workshop. It’s another thing entirely to stand face-to-face with darkness, armed only with a heart burning with love. Because even though I am absolutely certain that this world is a sea of miracles, I am confused, confounded and shattered by the cruelty and violence and ice-cold terrorism of some people.

And I had to get used to that. I had to be able to stand face-to-face with darkness and hold onto my own connection with light. This took time. I had to do my own work. 

It was my clients who showed me the real nature of this work – that it was never my job to lead or guide (or even, heal) anyone. My job was to hold my heart open – even as I witnessed my clients’ suffering; to honor their experience and listen to their stories, no matter how terrible, without being pulled into darkness myself.

To accomplish this, I had my own darkness to integrate. I had to become aware of the hooks that made it hard for me to be intimate, the terrors that made me vulnerable to manipulation, the things I didn’t like about myself, which I was desperately trying to hide. All of this and more – I’m still learning. We all are.  This is the nature of being human – and being a Lightworker doesn’t exempt us from that.

When I was just beginning, I starting out:  I am here to draw love into form – into action. I am here to ground love to the earth – wherever I am, no matter what is emerging before me. Once I understood this, I knew: Everything that I see is love emerging – and as love emerges, it calls love to emerge through me.

We live in a world which, quantum physics tells us, is literally built out of light. Yet, each time a human heart gives up on love (which happens when we believe that we (or anyone else) are separate from love) a heart-sized portion of love goes into darkness.

It’s as if that heart has donated – or invested – its priceless real estate (its space in the world) into shadow. An investment which adds up – as other people abandon their hearts and invest in darkness, too. Anything can work through an abandoned heart. Which is how we start hurting each other – and hurting the world.

A Lightworker’s job is to call these investments back from the shadows- just as shamans and wisdom keepers have been doing for centuries – so that they can be reinvested (added back into) the world of love.

A Lightworker’s job is to re-occupy the heart of the world with love – and light.

If it really is true that ‘all is one’ (a foundational teaching of LightWorker school) what are we to make of  this darkness? If we can’t cast evil and suffering out of Paradise (because there is no separation), what then, is it for?

At the most essential level, the lesson shadow brings is faith. Faith in the world and in ourselves and in the light. Faith in the nature of things – faith in balance and wholeness and the tender kindness of the human heart.

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Showing 74 comments
  • Laura
    Reply

    Hello, I just found your site and I think it’s really nice :) I agree with you completely and you gave me something to think about too and helped me also :) Thank you <3 Love and light, Laura

  • Claudia
    Reply

    I had never heard of a lightworker until recently and this blog was so fascinating. Thank you for your insight and I feel like I’ve learned so much from you. This really reminded me of a book I recently read called “The Light” by author Judith Lambert(http://www.judithlambertbooks.com/) I think the author is 100% a lightworker! I can’t imagine how many people she has helped “awaken” or inspired. Anyone that has ever questioned what all of this means, as in the world, why we are all here, etc. needs to give this a read. The book follows a woman that is literally brought out of sleep, almost as if she was assigned to this pursuit of spiritual enlightenment. She rises to the occasion, refusing to give up on the idea that it is we who are bound to societal pretense and that “The Light”, so to speak, is something that anyone from any system of faith not only can, but should pursue, the hope for spiritual unity. Again, this was a brilliantly crafted story and I would love to hear your opinion

  • Annechien Eikelenboom
    Reply

    Hi Amy,
    just stumbled upon your story here, when i was searching for “Lightworkers” , thank you so much for writing this, it gave me much clearity on the subject. Much love for your journey! xx

    • Amy Oscar
      Reply

      Thank you, Annechien! I’m so glad it was helpful to you. Blessings on yours.

  • Jae
    Reply

    this really gave me clarity on many things within my own self.. Thank you!

  • Eliza
    Reply

    Thank you. Today you gave me what I’ve been seeking.

  • CWS
    Reply

    I appreciate the words as it gives me strength to continue. I do not just fight the fights I know I can win, but I fight the fights that need fighting. As Churchill said: “when you’re going through hell, just keep going.” I ask myself the “why” questions all the time, but instinctively understand that this is too complicated for me to get at this stage, its too big and I do not have all of the pieces of the puzzle. Your message reminds me to just keep doing what I can do and do not worry about the rest, it is beyond me.

  • Penelope
    Reply

    I found your site searching for information on Lightworkers, wondering if I am one, because I feel that I am full of light, but not really sure what to do with it other than sit there and shine and try not let it be drained away. What I read made me cry, the tears I get when something really strikes home. I don’t feel alone, I guess because I could always pull from my own strength, but I don’t feel free, and I long for freedom, for the resources to be able to live more fully. It’s all so complicated, and I struggle with what I should focus on. Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience and for this outlet. I am grateful.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Hi Penelope – I’m so glad that you found your way to my corner of the world and that this work has touched you in some way. You are not alone, that is true. And if I may, I will suggest what you might focus on. If your wish is to feel free, begin there. What would ‘free’ feel like? Where would you feel it in your body? What would it feel like in that body place? Once you have a sense of what freedom might feel like, that becomes the thing to focus upon. Rather than focus on the resources to get to freedom, rather than focus on the things that are keeping you unfree, focus only on that feeling – and how it feels. Once you have a clear sense of what the feeling of freedom feels like, Just keep studying it. Noticing how it feels in your body. When your attention (focus) inevitably shifts to the things that are keeping you unfree, just gently shift your focus back to that feeling and how it feels to feel it.

      PS I know that it may seem silly, this little exercise but it’s everything. The feeling of freedom is not outside of you in a place or another situation. It’s inside of you. Find it there and IT will lead you to the new place, the new situation. It can’t help leading you there because like attracts like. So you see, by focusing on the feeling of freedom, you begin to understand what freedom is and is not. And freedom itself will lead you where you want to go.

  • missy
    Reply

    I was wondering as a light worker where I belong and I sense you know what and how to occupy life as a light worker. I will hold light in this dark town.
    Thank you for showing the way to many like myself who don’t have full understanding. I am enlightened. Shining bright like I do.

    • Amy
      Reply

      I see your light, Missy! Thank you for leaving a note so we can all see it shining.

  • Jeff
    Reply

    On the day I literally was going to give up, after so much heart ache and discouragement, I’m enlightened by this post that points out who/what I must be, and that there are others out there like me. So, I’m making a commitment to do what I need to do to heal and transform in order to be a vessel that can receive and share love. Thank you.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Jeff – I am so sorry that you’ve been feeling so discouraged – so heartbroken. I’m glad you found your way to me – to my post – and that it offered some encouragement. There ARE others out here like you – millions of us. I promise. You are not alone. I want you to know that even in offering this glimpse of your light, you’ve stepped onto the path of awareness that will show you that you are – and always have been – a Lightw0rker. Welcome to the fold.

  • Avril
    Reply

    This is wonderful Amy. Your words have really resonated with me and echo how I am feeling. You have a lovely way with words too 😊

    • Amy
      Reply

      Thank you, Avril! I’m delighted to know that you visited – and that you found resonance here. Thank you for leaving a note.

  • Maggie
    Reply

    thank you dear sister Amy!
    your words, and the openness with which you chose them and share them, enhance so much love for our planet.
    I am so very grateful for you, and send you prayers, love, and high-5’s…
    we can do this –
    and we will –
    together,
    Maggie <3

    • Amy
      Reply

      Thank you, Maggie – I mirror your good wishes and light back to you. Together we ARE doing it! Yes!

  • Amanda Berry
    Reply

    Amy, I love this.
    There is so much peace and acceptance in your words which leads to compassion and kindness. I can share the prayer that I shower my son with mostly,
    You are surrounded by love
    You are loved more than you know
    You are filled with loving light
    I love you

    I believe it for myself too. 😊

    • Amy
      Reply

      Amanda – I love that sweet prayer. What a lucky son to be showered with such blessing – and so much love. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  • barbara
    Reply

    beautiful always… straight to my heart.

    • Amy
      Reply

      xxoo

  • Lori magnes
    Reply

    dear sweet Amy.. As I lie here in the emergency room in the hospital your sweet words served as a healing balm not only to my mind but to my physical body. I just hung up the phone with a fellow light worker who is also dealing with how to live in this world with what is happening now. Through her courage I was able to begin to see the light myself. I am sending a copy of this to her so that we both can share in the life together. thank you for lighting my world today. With great respect and love

    • Amy
      Reply

      Lori – Thank YOU for lighting MY world – I’m so touched that you found my post when it could support you. So many blessings on your healing – and thank you for taking the time to leave your comment.

  • Janney Karen
    Reply

    Hi Amy, June 2015
    Janney Karen, thank you for the reply that you wrote to me, it was very beautiful.Nov.2014 seems like a life time ago. I have been working with Spirit, releasing,understanding and forgiving my Birth Mother for all the abuse she allowed.But sadly she lives in her darkness Amy even after the Gift of Light from myself and Angels. March 2015 I became a Great Grandmother to “Billie Rose,” a beautiful Soul, one of us.I am of the Rose Ray as is my Granddaughter and now my Great -Granddaughter.
    Holding her Amy for the first time was meeting an old friend again,She looks into your Soul, holds you and then smiles, tears of Joy just flowed
    Her journey to Earth was a battle on all fronts, my work with my Granddaughter, was almost every day to protect Billie Rose in the womb and protection of her Soul.
    The cord was wrapped around her neck twice and her little heart slowly stopped, on the 4th attempt she took her first breath.She was so tiny as she had not grown in the womb for 3 weeks before birth.No explanation was given.Billie Rose is 4 months old and is chubby,her Light shines on every on all she meets,a very social Being.Yesterday, she meet a black man for the first time, she spat out her dummy, leaned forward towards him and just beamed at him,he was stunned!!.
    Now I understand why I needed time out and my life is mainly at home now. My own health is slowly healing as I have a tumor on my auditory nerve which is shrinking.
    Some days I do feel tired in my Soul but I am truly Blessed with my Husband who understands me (most of the time) my 3 married adult children,one Son – In -Law has always been my Champion in this life and past lives. 7 grandchildren and 1 Great Grand -Daughter.Amy , may I add, that if I had not walked the dark roads together with the roads of Spirit and Light my ability to have helped my Granddaughter (who I delivered into the world 22 yrs ago) to have been able to give Birth to her beautiful Light -Bearing Daughter would not have been possible. It took everything I had learnt and experienced to protect and support her together with Spirit.But we live on this Plane, Mother Earth, some days that is overwhelming walking between two Dimensions and the Past.
    I am beginning to deeply understand Amy the Cycles that we create in the work that we all do together as those called The Light-workers of God.At times it is just Miraculous!!.
    Blessings and Prayers are given to all of you.
    I trust for you Amy that all is well
    Once Again Janney Karen.

  • hansen sudarma halim
    Reply

    wow a light worker… can i become one?
    i want to break free from all my negativity please? can anyone help?

    • Amy
      Reply

      Hello, Hansen – Chances are, you’re already a Lightworker – that longing to break free of negativity is often the first sign or ‘symptom’ of awakening to the call of your own heart.

      Your heart calls for relief from negativity because it knows that negativity is a habit of thinking (and perceiving things) and that habit can be changed.

      See if you can develop a counter-habit of looking for what’s good. Keep asking: What’s working for me? Even if all you can come up with at first is: Well, I’m breathing – let that be enough and keep looking. I’m breathing and the sun came up today… and I had that lovely cup of coffee this morning. What else?

      Look for evidence of the good. Where are people doing good things for one another? Look past news headlines about bad things happening in the world, searching the stories for the helpers, the healers.

      When bad things happen to you, take the quiet, inner risk of asking for help – even if you can only ask the angels.

      Keep this question in your heart: What’s good about this? What might I be able to learn or see or experience here?

      By focusing on the good, you’ll soon be saying: “I wanted to break free from all my negativity… and I did!”

  • Shannon Gore
    Reply

    Dear Amy

    Wow wow wow!! THE BEST explanation and advice to lightworkers that I have come across in the last 2 years. Only 2 because it was/is the start of my awakening lol. But I have been practicing discernment etc and when I read your article I got tingles and tears! Which to me is my higher self saying yes yes yes!!! This is why you came and this is how you will serve. This is the piece of the puzzle that links it all in for me. I especially love how you say, it scares me but that’s good. OMG tingles!!

    • Amy
      Reply

      Tingles and tears – some of the best kinds of guidance! :)

  • Kris
    Reply

    Hello Amy,

    Thank you for holding space for our voices…I’ve just started web searching to find answers to my journey. Most of my life has been in conscious light work, didn’t have a name for it however until my mid 40’s. The past six years I gave myself completely to this work (unbeknownst to me at the time), and I have found that my life has slowly declined in so many ways. I still know who I am, and that I hold a tremendous purpose in this lifetime, but I’m so lost as to why things are so difficult now!

    I gave up all my material things and trusted the journey, what was supposed to have been a one year sabbaticle has turned out to be six…and I’m confused as to why, after dedicating myself to doing all my work (I know there is always more to do..) I find myself still floating around, no stable home, no money coming in, etc… I keep waiting for my life to stabilize so I can no longer carry these burdens as I move forward.

    Any wisdoms would be greatly appreciated…

    Much Gratitude,
    Ktis

    • Amy
      Reply

      Hi Kris –
      I read your comment with tears in my eyes. So many people are experiencing things like this right now. I wonder if we can open a discussion about how we might walk the path of devotion WITHOUT having to give up all of our material things.

      We are physical beings, yes? And the divine has surrounded us with physical gifts: an abundance of food, water, sunlight – even the air that we breathe is a material support.

      I don’t believe that we are ‘meant to’ give up our material belongings. Rather, I sense that each of us is called by a deep sense of purpose – a personal path of devotion, which will lead us to the work that serves the purposes of the divine.

      In other words, the path of devotion is the path of our own hearts’ preferences.

      We let he heart lead us – it knows what we love doing – it knows what people and environments make us feel at home. That ‘at home’ feeling is the key that we’re on purpose. That we’re on our own path of devotion.

      I’m holding you in my heart and my prayers this morning, asking for the blessings of deeper understanding and the practical, material blessings of food, shelter and stability.

  • Carol
    Reply

    Thank you Amy for this beautiful new perspective. It turns ( what we perceive ) failure into a positive way of looking at the situation.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Thank you, Carol, for stopping by the blog and for leaving a note.

  • Janney Karen
    Reply

    Greetings Amy,
    wow, what you have shared about your own journey was most needed by Soul and my Human Self. Like you Amy I have been working in the Field for almost thirty five years as a Blue Light Worker, working with Archangel Michael. Transmuting neg. energy for Mother Earth.It has been a roller coaster road from standing on Mountains to standing with the most darkest beings. At this point in time Nov.2014 I am not able to move forward,the last dark battle attacked all my family and grandchildren. We all survived, but it has shaken me to my boots, perhaps I am burnt out,having faced the attack on my own in the physical sense, I never really understood till that moment what I had been fighting all my life.It felt like quicksand, sinking deeper down into a place of no return.There was no time, no nothing just it and me,till a flash of grace and love told me to say that I was of the Light as are you but you hide in fear not love !!!!.It left instantly.I was reeling for awhile. Since then, six months ago I have closed down all my Spiritual work for others, nurturing myself trying to understand this experience and why it happened.
    I have lost my best friend of twenty years who walked with me on this journey but now has lost her own beliefs, it was too scarey as she put it.This has been sad but I understand her choice but she was my best friend.Thank you for the space to share my story, I have not put this encounter in to words before. But we are always protected if we ask, it is the fear of being forgotten that holds us back perhaps like small children when our parents did not come in the dark.
    Many Blessings to all who walk our Part to shone Light for others to see.Janney Karen T.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Janney Karen – Please forgive my delay in responding to your heartfelt comment. It moved me deeply when I read it and I set it aside for reflection …. and forgot to return until today. I wonder how you are feeling – and doing – now that some time has passed since you left the comment. I want to thank you for taking the time to share your experience from such a deep and honest place. You’ve been through so much – and done so much for us all. I am grateful you visited my blog. Grateful you left a note so that I could see you. Grateful, too, for all that you do to uplift the world. Bless your wide and beautiful heart.

  • Brenton
    Reply

    Namaste.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Bowing, Brenton. Namaste to you, as well.

  • Judi Albert
    Reply

    I was recently told I am a lightworker but I haven’t the slightest clue where to begin. Any advice for a newbee? Also I find it difficult to open my heart even though I want to.

    • Amy
      Reply

      :) Welcome to the circle! There’s nothing to ‘do’ – in fact, you’ll discover that you’ve been spreading light all of your life, in your own way. each of us has our own gift to bring to the world. I invite you to download my Four Soul Questions worksheet. You can get it by clicking on the link to the top right of my webpage. That may give you some direction. As for opening the heart, I’m discovering that it’s more a matter of allowing the heart to do what it naturally does. Opening the heart, for me, has been a process of peeling away the fears and self-doubts that made it feel risky to be vulnerable, to be real. Opening the heart is not an event – it’s a journey, and it sounds to me as if you’re already on your way.

  • Roxanne
    Reply

    Hi Amy, I stumbled across this today and it has given me deep support as a fellow lightworker–I feel so grateful to connect with you as I follow my inner guidance on a path of being a witness for others seeking emotional healing. Writing and sharing healing music is my path right now. I will follow you on twitter! 😀 Thank you for this piece you have so beautifully written!

    • Amy
      Reply

      Thank you for leaving a comment. I’m so pleased to meet you.

  • Carolina
    Reply

    This resonates in so many levels…. I guess ‘thank you’ will have to do for now. Love your work, it feels like home.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Thank you for finding me – and my work. Welcome. :)

  • Cindy
    Reply

    I’m really new to this. I am facing the darkness every day. I am currently working in a very dark place. How do I not let the darkness overtake me? I spend a lot of time in prayer and meditation but I just feel like I’m being totally drained. It’s comforting to know that there are others out there who fell the same way as I do and that I’m not crazy but I’m exhausted. What do I do next?

    • Amy
      Reply

      You just did it – you reach out. You ask for help. You find the people you can trust to walk with you through this dark place, this dark time. If you’ve got a therapist or a friend who can talk with you about this in a meaningful way – without trying to solve or fix you – call on her/him. If not, find that person – find the community, the tribe of souls like you who are walking this path, too. You’re not alone – find your people.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Also, and I’m sorry I did not say this before: I invite you into MY circles. If you tweet, come to Twitter #SoulCall – every Sunday. If you are inclined toward quiet prayer, come to Soul Caller Sanctuary (also Sundays.) Consider the Soul Caller Training – and our circle. I invite you.

  • paige
    Reply

    Thank you soo much amy!
    Youve help me a great bit.
    I just discovered im a lightworker and was honestly confused on what a light worker is and our purpose.
    I was explaining too my dad the feelings and thoughts ihad been having. (Since around 5 years old) and he told me im a light worker and ive been learning everything i can too help me understand. And this helped soo muc, touched my soul, and gave me goose bumps.
    Everybodys comments are soo positive and filled with love. If all the lightworkers could get together and shed light on the darkness everybody would be filled with the love of the light.
    You are all beautiful beings. Im soo thankful i found myself.
    Thank you soo much again for the understanding again. Love you all ♥

    • Amy
      Reply

      Welcome, lovely bright being – what a wonderful dad you’ve got. Thank you for leaving your comment so we can get a glimpse of you and of him!

  • Jason Briers
    Reply

    Dear Amy

    I linked to your site on a journey to know more about dimensional travel when we sleep. I had terrible nightmares and experiences when I was a child. Years later, I found Reiki, TCM & all other wonderful realms of healing & light working. The last 13 years of accepting my awakened bond with the universe, has nearly killed me through emotional trauma, after emotional trauma. It’s so true what you say, I made a promise to myself (and to all sentient beings x) to end the cycle of darkness & fear in this lifetime that I had.
    Reading your words and how you explained what it means to step onto that path, has reminded me why I choose this path and why I will always ‘keep the light burning’.

    Thank you

    • Amy
      Reply

      Oh, Jason. What a beautiful note. I’m sorry you’ve suffered so and yet I hear, in your remarks, the light that’s there, guiding your way. I call on the angels to bring you many blessings now – and to hold you in the peace and protection of their love.

  • Gin
    Reply

    What a lovely, beautiful post, full of such truth. Thank you, Amy.

  • Neil D Paris
    Reply

    Beautiful piece, and a true reminder of the Light-Worker’s work in today’s world. Thank you!

  • Tamu Martin
    Reply

    God Bless You,Faith Rider.Soar as an Eagle flying High and Low,LightWorker.May This Year Be A Beautiful Blessing,too You and Yours.Shalom/Peace,Tamu Martin

  • Amy
    Reply

    Thank you for your comment, Jackie. Here is my YES – now it’s a thousand and one!

  • Jackie
    Reply

    Oh Amy yes! A thousand yeses that ripple through my heart. Beautifully expressed. Holding a space with a heart full of love without needing to fix or heal anything, but simply to witness with love is the most powerful thing we can do. Remembering that all that is painful or confusing and appears not to be love is simply an invitation back into our hearts to reach into love again and again. Thank you for this wonderful post

  • Alice Langholt
    Reply

    Thank you. Just thank you. Everything you write resonates with me, and this one because when those tragic stories happen, I can come back and re-read it, and know that I’m one of the light bringer, light holder, light worker, and sometimes just dark-avoiders. I sometimes feel that avoiding the dark and adding more light is the best way for me not to get swept into the dark – to become depressed and cynical, for example. I just want to send healing light in the direction of whatever’s persisting now, and do my part that way. I used to get overwhelmed with pain from hearing the news. I stopped watching the news and when the stories get to me anyway, I send Reiki. Because it feels like something I can do.

    Loving you, Amy, and the absolutely beautiful, love-filled, extreme light you shine all over the damn place.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Dear Alice: You are one of the brightest lights I’ve ever known. It is my privilege to know you. Thank you for these beautiful words.

  • Ryan Mayes
    Reply

    This still is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever read, and always brings me back on point when i get lost or lose focus of my soul’s journey on this planet. Thank you for being a part of my journey and being awake and sharing who you are in this beautiful article. Love and light to you and to all.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Thank you Ryan. I am honored – deeply – to know that my words have supported you. So many blessings from my heart to yours.

  • Heather
    Reply

    Yes! Thank you! I totally connect with what you’re saying. I’ve been in a real funk, and reading this gave me a bit of a relief. I really appreciate that.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Hi Heather – Can you ask the funk what it wants? What it needs? Often, these moods arrive as guidance that something is calling from deep within – from a place you may not be used to listening from (or listening to).

      What awakening is just beneath that funk? What light is asking to be seen?

  • Shannon Gore
    Reply

    Thank you so much. I thought as a lightworker I was doing something wrong. You have just put everything into perspective for me. I have copied your prayer and will say this each day xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    • Amy
      Reply

      I’m so glad that you left a comment. It gives me the chance to say this: You cannot do light work wrong. Ever. Go love up the world – in your own way.

  • shaun
    Reply

    thnk u for your answer i’m just tired of acting en not able to be my self mayb i will go off-grid who knows it will be more my thing time will tell en yes that’s really what i’m doing every step is showing me were i need to be because i channel in to that but its hard to live with people that don’t tune in to a more aware state of them selfs

    • Heather
      Reply

      I feel you!! I know exactly what you mean. Its so frustrating! My family is very conservative. They all think I am crazy and mostly ignore me. My daughter calls herself a pagan, and is into reiki, etc, but does not support me at all. I dont have any real friends anymore. Its very lonely. I need to connect with people, to share my sunshine. But I dont know anyone who is real open, and not fake. Most people i know are so negative they make me ill, or they are users who drain me dry then dissapear till they need me again. I get very dispairing and think about going ghost, but I just cant quit trying. I got too much hope in my soul. I will share some with ya, ok? =)

      • Amy
        Reply

        Okay. :) I can see your light and I welcome it.

        We are all learning this lesson together right now. This is the big lesson of earth school. And this situation you describe is often the first step: Lightworker 101. The moment you decide to come out of hiding and hang your Lightworker credentials on the wall, everything and everyone that is out of alignment with light shows up.

        The work is right here – at this edge. When you look at what you wrote, you will see your own conditions on love. And it’s so beautiful – we all have these conditions. Our daughters don’t support us; our spouses leave us; our families think we’re crazy – yet everyone seems to turn to us for support and, as you wrote, drain us dry.

        This is where the work is, love. Right here, right where you are. How do we meet these things from love? How do we soften our thoughts about how others should be and hold the space for unconditional love in the world?

        What would life be like if we let everyone be what they are – including ourselves – without conditions? See if, without those conditions, you feel less ill, more aligned with unconditional love.

  • shaun
    Reply

    Hello my name is shaun. Today i came back from a psychiatrist that wanted to talk with me about what’s wrong en why i feel this way that i do.

    She asked me some questions im not really a type to talk with this kind of people cause i think they dont understand what i am telling anyway. I had to do it once in the past to figure out if i had a psychoses (i thought it was funny cause i think they got a psychoses) but that was NOT the problem.

    They told me there that i did definitely not have that en that i was well spoken/in thoughts en not some one that was crazy. So today i did it any way even though i dont like this.. cause my mom sends me to there. I did had a break down a view weeks ago en i did not wanne go on any more cause everything always seems to test me en see where my breaking point is.

    I told them that i need my own space this is because my mom is not like this (your story..my way of thinking) and i am. (a light worker/high sensitive person/a enlightened soul searcher..how ever u wanne call it..) i know this of my self i told people about this en i feel the negative energy al the time energy that leeds no were that keeps u where u are not evolving no enlightenment. I am someone that is so tuned in to it.. that i often try to correct that behaviour in others while fighting for my own sanity. my mom dont understand that even though i DID try to talk with her about it she just goes on with her life so im done with that. en now she dont know what to do cause i dont give a F*piep.. any more about it all not that that is really the case because haha well i do give a damn about everything that’s also the problem (but your telling in your story to learn to acknowledge that i got that unconditionally love en that i am a fighter so accept it.) sooo ok i will, i did that a long time ago even though it still sometimes feels like it would be better to just not give a damn about it al.

    I told that psychiatrist that i am some one that is searching for more knowledge searching for answers often in my room with my laptop reading about well everything.. en that i dont really like hanging out with all kinds of people(sheeps/robots) cause of the way they feed on each others nonsense en they al just are just do en dont think for them self. They dont know the meaning behind words like love/emotion/jokes en more en just like to drink be with each other going no where in mind en soul (i live in amsterdam by the way) I dont fit in because i always know that i think/see things different experience things different en do things different as if im a drop of water on a surface with only oil it wont go together.

    is it good for me to even talk with this kind of people (psychiatry)…..? i think i just have to find my own way i always dreamed of moving away from this country. Finding my own place of peace to learn understand en evolve with people like me in a positive way. I know im evolving right now but in a negative environment were no body knows that they are negative/non aware (uhm negative is not really the word but i think you get where im coming from..)

    For some one that is opening his eyes to more then the shades let u see. So what is left is 1 man standing against a load of unknowing negativeness that i have to fight everyday against to keep my self together to say to my self it don’t matter i will keep my love en im on the right track.. In my eyes *everything happens for a reason* i came to this site for a reason did not even search for your site.. i had to read this story en there for i am sending my story but… i just cant find my way here in al this noise.

    Well i know i dont got every answer just wished there was a place for people like me cause this society is build en carved in a way that we are forced to feel like the outsiders while we try to fight for whats left of the love. Its a norm that generation up on generation learns to think in away so eventually they teach each other the crap that once was implanted in them not knowing that they give us a hard time
    shaun.

    • Amy
      Reply

      I am so touched by your comment, Shaun. I imagine you must feel pretty alone sometimes.
      Please know that you are not alone – there are so many other people out in the world who are feeling as you are right now.
      Let the contrast between what you see and what you’re being shown be a teacher. Let it help you zero in on what you believe and think (just as you seem to be doing) and let it polish your wisdom and intuition. The world will teach you who you are.
      I bless your journey and I promise that you’ll find the teachers, counselors and guides who will resonate with your experiences.

  • Cathy Towle
    Reply

    Amy, thanks for articulating this. It is so true. One starts out with certain intentions in this work and the work presents itself so differently. Being able to hold space takes a certain kind of leadership and self restraint that we are not taught in our trainings. I especially get a lot of darkness, (as a medium) but it has taught me a lot about love and fear, and being in one overcomes the other…both ways! In the end it’s all about love, and faith. Thanks for reminding me!

    • Amy
      Reply

      It really is all about love and faith. Thank you so much for leaving a comment, Cathy. :)

  • Callahan McDonough
    Reply

    Amy I read this and am touched deeply, it feels to me powerful and true. Today I am so filled with Gratitude and my heart is open, because of this I am also remembering old losses that are mending, now they touch me, amaze me. So I have moved about this day feeling joyous, peppered with tears of Gratitude.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Ah, my friend. So blessed by your comment – and by you.

  • Cheryl
    Reply

    Beautiful, Amy. Thank you.

    • Amy
      Reply

      Thank YOU Cheryl – for reading it and for leaving a comment.

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