A ‘best of’ collection, of sorts
I have this other blog that I’ve been neglecting and then re-reading this year. I started it in 2007 before I knew how powerful blogging was – and would be for me.
This morning, with two feature stories and my weekly column to churn out, I find myself longing to write in this other way, to expand into this other room – and what is a blog, really? – a chamber of words on white back-lit walls.
Anyway, as a gesture to the ‘real’ work – a chronicle/memoir of the last six years in which everything in my life was turned inside out – I’ve started collecting the posts that contain the stories that will appear, in one form or another, in the book. I have been deeply moved by re-engaging with this point of view – a woman going through things that re-shaped her, captured just after they occurred.
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Some of these are pretty long; others less than a page; and, though I’ve attempted to assemble them into a kind of ‘order’ they’re not listed chronologically.
Best to think of them as author’s notes, collected by searching on the old blog for the keywords: Glass, heart, wings…
That said, here they are.
My favorites
The Awareness is so big – Yoga, becoming a mystic, my father starts falling.
Terrorists – Torah, Simon Cowell, Susan Boyle.
Fire Island – On the last day of summer, my daughter and I drop my son off at college and take a ferry to the island.
Memoir – The one where my husband lets go of the wheel while driving; and also, my father starts falling apart
How will i meet this? Part 1 – on suffering and how to meet it in others, and in ourselves
How will I meet this? Part 2 – on wilderness, and what to do when you get lost
Pivotal moments
Eating Lightbulbs – a dream I had-abbey ice, mystic water, light
The magic house – in which we find a house we all love
On Shining – on learning to let your story out, no matter what happens
About my Dad – when I began to realize I was compiling a memoir
The End of Men: Water - Dad won’t move to a nursing home (the goldfish story)
The End of Men: water, goldfish, wheels
Traffic Court – the day I went to fight the ticket I got on the day that Max went to college orientation and Dad would up in the hospital
The End of Men: Rose Essential Oil – Dad is moved to the hospital
Disintegration – the day the pyrex baking dish exploded; Dad in the hospital, mom moves out of their house.
The End of Men: Poker – My father used to play poker with his buddies
The End of Men: The end of men – threads of men leaving me; life ending
The End of Men: Poker 2 – Dad says, “I cry a lot.”
What to bring to the nursing home: Exact words on a flyer we received from the Hebrew Home
About my mom, after dad was in the nursing home, her heart surgery
Wings 2 - Thanksgiving At my in-laws house, the split between my old and new selves emerges through the top of my head
Heart – My mother’s open heart surgery
A dream I had – Six months after mom’s surgery.
Notes to self as I fell back in love with my husband:
The first house we did not buy – this one is VERY long. It contains many of the seeds for the book that I’m writing
On writing a memoir
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I can’t wait to delve into all of this later. I have a feeling I will need it. I feel like there are many things I need to “meet,” as you say, but I am unable to. I am stuck, stifled, scared.
We find out what the bean is today. And I’m terrified something is wrong. Though I have no reason to think this. I’ve been mostly unable to write. Afraid of what might come out. Consumed by my vulnerability and rawness right now. Overwhelmed.
I miss you. I need to start reading Sea of Miracles. I’ve just been caught in the muck. Depressed.
love.
Blessings to you and your precious bean. All is well. Breathe. (As for Sea of Miracles, it might help. It is about angels and miracles, after all.)