My Experience of the Soul Caller Training
I first met Amy Oscar over 30 years ago, when we were both working with as teachers of Robert Fritz’s courses on the creative process. My encounters with her were brief, yet memorable. She was ‘someone who leads.’
I moved on from that community, integrating the principles I learned into all areas of my life, as I developed myself as a singer, songwriter, voice coach, life coach, wife and mother.
I re-connected with Amy in February 2012 when, as an aspiring screenwriter, I was searching for a ‘project angel’ or sacred muse for a new script idea I had. Though I eventually put that project on hold, I did find what I was looking for, and so much more, when I took Amy’s Soul Caller Training the next month. It was like remembering what I had always known, but had not allowed myself to trust. I had been on the path of Awakening for a long time, and working with Amy was a gentle coming home to my True Self.
I began to develop a more personal connection with the angelic realm. Being someone who has typically believed I have to ‘do it all’ on my own, I still find myself needing to remember to ask the angels for guidance and support. Since they can’t help us unless we ask, in respect to the law of free will. So my asking is becoming bolder these days.
One of the most life changing benefits has been the Soul Caller Community, which exists in real time but mostly transpires in our growing private Facebook group. In this very sacred and safe space, I have been able to share my challenges and victories, giving and receiving support and love in the most compassionate and authentic ways. It is truly a community of unconditional love and acceptance. This is where we can meet our ‘shadow stuff’ without shame or drama, and reach for the light that is reflecting back to us through our soul caller sisters and brothers.
This community has been a godsend to me in so many ways, especially during a stretch of time when I was experiencing parenting issues way outside of my comfort zone. I was in deep despair as a mother of a highly spirited teenaged daughter, confronting many of my worst fears in life. It wasn’t even on my radar to meet these challenges with love and compassion. I often went to self-blame and self-doubt, hanging on for dear life most days, afraid that her survival was in constant danger.
Amy supported me in understanding that whatever I held in shadow in myself, I was likely to project onto my daughter, or that she might act it out in her own life drama, so that I could see it clearly. And that this was happening so that I could heal and integrate these shadow parts of myself, meeting them with love and compassion for myself. This was a revelation for me. It enabled me to start seeing through a new lens, how life is about projection and reflection, energy patterns and a non-personal call-and-response universe. And how turning to love is the key to forgiveness, grace and alchemy.
The soul caller community was my sanctuary during those years. I have asked for prayers more times than I can count, and have always received responses within minutes, any hour of the day or night. The loving support is the real deal. Just to be witnessed, without judgment or unsolicited advice, can instantly reconnect me with my heart, and remind me of who I am. I had never experienced this before in life, not even in family. The level of love and integrity that is the nature of the Soul Caller community, all birthed out of Amy’s vision for humanity.
The Soul Caller path is a sacred way of life. I continue to release what is not mine to hold. And I am opening, like a perennial blossom, to higher and higher experiences of Divine Spirit in myself and all of life. My relationships are more free and authentic. My mind and body are more relaxed and present. My creative work is taking on a new direction as I integrate my awakening into my music and coaching with artists. My ability to enjoy life and thrive is expanding. I’m truly more at peace with who I am, and more attuned with living in harmony with my soul’s calling.
Life had always been a hard and often painful struggle for me. I am a very intense person, and that used to feel like a detriment. Amy has been a profound teacher in showing me how to calibrate my energy flow, to stay in the center of my being and to trust in my benevolent heart. This is not so easy to do in the maze of today’s cynical world. But in the Soul Caller community, this is the most natural way to live. At my 2ndSaturn Return, I am completely reinventing myself and my life. I am filled to overflowing with gratitude for Amy and the world she has helped me to see.
~ Deb Chamberlin, Singer-Songwriter/Teacher.
Founder, The Awakened Artist Community
Gloucester Township, NJ, USA
When Love Takes Over
~Ivy Landsman-Slevin, New York
In April, 2012, Amy Oscar was no more to me than a phone number scribbled on a scrap of paper beside the numbers of doctors, surgeons, and a psychopharmacologist. But that number had been given to me by my lifelong friend – and she’d bugged the heck out of me to call Amy.
Finally, I did – I had nothing left to lose…
I was broke – and emotionally broken. After losing everything in the economic tsunami of 2008, my husband and I ended our marriage. With little more than the shirt on my back, I moved home from California, settling,with my eight-year-old son,in Long Beach, the closest place I could find to the sweet beach life I’d lived in San Diego. I found a job – but it meant a three-hour shlep into Manhattan, doing mind numbing legal assistant work. Overwhelmed, I turned my attention where it mattered, helping my son adjust to a new school and a new life.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I felt enraged – and cold with mortal fear. Trained as a nurse, I knew what I was facing. I felt like a trapped animal boxed in by its own skin. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was facing and I didn’t want pity. I was ashamed, imagining that I’d become the poster child for: “You think your life’s bad… be thankful you’re not HER!”
I’ll admit that I didn’t expect much from Amy, a ‘spiritual counselor’. I figured she’d urge me to ‘think positive” and wish away the cancer. Maybe she’d suggest herbs and acupuncture with a couple of good chiropractic adjustments. Yet it was nothing like that. instead, Amy asked me questions and listened, and I realized that this dis-ease was the physical manifestation of the breakdown in my armor that I had built around my wounded heart.
I also realized: I have a choice. Instead of being a victim of this cancer and forced into surgery, I could bravely change the course of my life and consciously choose it. As Amy gently helped me build a vision of what my life could be AFTER cancer, I began to feel hopeful again and the next day, when I crossed that threshold, there was no turning back.
My surgery corresponded with the start of the Soul Caller Training so, I listened to the calls while recovering, doing the homework at a snails pace. Blessings seemed to come out of the woodwork. I experienced extraordinary acts of kindness, even from strangers. And it wasn’t just me – friends and family seemed to flourish around me. I was acutely aware of my lightness of being – a knowing that things were different. I was different. I will never forget how gently I was held in the Soul Caller Circle, how loved and supported I was by Amy and the friends I made there – they are like sisters to me.
Through this work, I’ve found my purpose in life , and express it by doing things I love: art, music, business, and caregiving. I’ve developed my inner vision, and learned to trust my intuition. I experience people as my allies rather than as enemies, propelling me to step out and take more risks, increasing my chances that my dreams are an achievable reality.
I had a huge breakthrough during that first call with Amy. It came from our discussion about forgiveness. I saw that hanging on to anger was like a Tazmanian devil, a whirling dervish of negative energy that was mowing through my life and ripping out pieces of my soul. Once I saw what holding on to that negative energy was doing to me, to MY life, I was able to unhook from the victim story I was running, seeing how it was running ME. Forgiveness was the key – and letting go of the hurts and wrongs I’d held onto for so long. No longer held hostage by my feelings, I’m able to move through my life being present to what is happening in the moment. When I show up unencumbered by my past, I can choose how I want to meet the multitude of opportunities life offers me, drawing the future I dream of into reality.
~ Ivy Landsman-Slevin is a singer/songwriter,
jewelry and wall decor designer,
creative entrepreneur, health advocate and mother.
She and her son live in Long Beach, New York
Back home to my truth, to Love, to believing again, to seeing the miraculous, to hope and to health.
~ Anthea Flowers, Australia
Mine was not an easy journey, I grew up with an alcoholic dad in an entirely male environment after my Mum left when I was 7. I was the product of too much time left alone, obsessive porn addiction from age 8, multiple sexual abuses, Body Dysmorphic disorder, suicide attempts and drugs and alcohol.
I spent my teens and early 20’s just trying to escape reality, any way I could. Then, on Christmas Eve, 2001, my Dad, died of a sudden massive heart attack – and in that instant my whole world fell apart. Though he wasn’t perfect, Dad had been my one stable dependable pillar.
Now, I had a huge void that nothing could fill, yet I sucked everything in still like a black hole. Six months later, at age 24, I ran off – to the USA, where I married a military man I barely knew, a man who no one had met and spent the next 11 years in the wrong relationship. I was dried up, worn down, tired, with no dreams or even recollection of a voice, or guidance system left.
I was nearly at death’s door – sick, unhealthy, an absolute shadow and shell of myself, when through a miracle, I came back to Australia.
It took about year for the fog to lift, for the oceanic roar to pull me back from the abyss, for the walks in nature to mend my heart back together with golden rays of sunlight, the sway of leaf canopies and serenades of beautiful birdsong. And I started to remember. Bits. Pieces. Of the way I used to see the world. Of a time I used to believe in Angels and magic and happy ending fairy tales.
I got back into meditation, yoga, singing, dancing, I smiled, I laughed, and then one day surfing the internet I found you. Your site called to me. The Soul Caller Training spoke into my heart but I resisted. Life was still messy. I was raising two kids alone, with hubby back in USA. I was just trying to cope. I kept coming back to your page, I read all your work, then you had a Pay-What-You-Can special and it was the moment I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer, I needed to do your training.
The Soul Caller Training changed my life forevermore. You were the guide, the doorway, the conduit for leading me back home, to my truth, to Love, to believing again, to seeing the miraculous, to hope and to health.
You helped me unpack my years of crap, my weighted down-ness, my inability to accept what was. Sweet Amy you held space for me, we talked, you helped me finally after 12yrs say a proper goodbye to my Dad and to allow all that came with that.
Again you were there supporting, guiding, helping me see the guidance myself and reminding me of truth and love when my tumultuous marriage finally ended.
You brought me back to here, to now, to “what would love do here?” to being okay with the unfolding, to learning to unpack myself with grace and patience. Through you I have met so many wonderful people, a lot of whom I call friends, and to much adored teachers who have nourished and flourished and spread the seeds and watered the garden that you so dearly tended in my heart.
A year later and I’m hardly the same person, I am whole, on my journey of each day unravelling as it is meant, of perfect imperfection – up perfecting, of holy yesses, and truthful no’s. I live in alignment, in the wide and wild of the Divine mind, in congruence and attunement. And I’m okay with the delicious messiness of this life and of knowing I don’t have my shit together, and that I’m not meant to anyway.
Amy, you have been, your teachings, your words, your gentle way – all have been life giving, thirst quenching sustenance to the deserts of my soul. I cannot bestow my highest gratitudes to you in words, because none can convey, but please know, you changed my life.
I’m a mystical mama, moon child, way finder, wild woman, amateur writer, lover of words, book nerd, hot tea aficionado, vegan and owner of mamacitas soulsa who lives in a beautiful little seaside town on the gorgeous east coast of Australia.
When I’m not wandering the beach you’ll find me being a single mama to two amazing darlingheart children on the autism spectrum.
~ Anthea plans to create workshops incorporating yoga, meditation, mental health, Reiki, breathwork and shamanism for women of all ages to target self esteem, self love, sexual abuse survivors, body dysmorphia and whole-istic living to see our innate infinite wisdom as women and girls and to dig from the wellspring of love and beauty we each hold within.
“I am willing to see that I am already free!”
~Ardhan (Paul) Swatridge, Italy
I grew up on a small farm, held in nature and the cycle of seasons. From the age of 8 to 18, I was sent away to boarding school to turn me into a ‘man’ where I was often lonely and miserable.
Four years at art college were wonderfully freeing. I met my wife there and with the gift of a family inheritance we bought a crumbling 17th century cottage with land to learn about property restoration and ‘self sufficiency‘ to feed my dream of a better world.
My wife reared goats and chickens, while I fell into founding a business with four other free-spirited young men, making reproduction oak furniture. My wife and I shared the rearing of our beautiful daughter and woodcarving/cabinetmaking became my lifelong way of ‘grounding‘, along with DIY and growing vegetables.
After a midlife crisis I left the now expanded and stressful business and dived deeper into psycho-spiritual searching, including professional trainings; first in Psychosynthesis and then Voice Dialogue (Psychology of Selves).
At 45 I left my marriage and spent 10 years helping to run an ecological retreat centre offering weekend courses and developing community projects, before burning out for the second time.
I have been a Buddhist in different forms since 1993. My path has been a search for healing, peace and reconciliation for myself and the planet, with an underlying longing to experience what lies beyond the mundane duality of existence.
I recognise myself as an introverted sensitive; and more recently I have come to accept that my child(hood) was significantly wounded by abuse and trauma. Wounds that affect me to this day, as an armouring of protection that can separate me from others.
I spent the first half of my life carefully hiding my sensitivity, my victim mentality, my lack of self esteem. Years of therapy and training only partially reached to the depths of my wounds and longings.
But recently I entered a relationship with a woman who, through her own commitment to healing and honesty in communication, has brought me to a new threshold, in which I am opening to a level of trust that I have never experienced before.
I speak of trust in two ways; my life-long distrust of others, and my lack of trust in myself, particularly where my rational masculine traits (strongly re-enforced at school) undermine my trust in my intuitive, creative, feminine side, even though, as a man, I feel a strong affinity with this softer side of my nature.
So this was the history I brought to Amy’s class 18 months ago – and I have included these details here, because they are very pertinent to what I encountered and gained through the SC training.
Of course, angels are a significant part of Amy’s work and I found it difficult at first to ‘believe’ in them such that I could talk about them as real beings. I was also unsure about trying to invoke them. But over time I began to see that they represent a realm of powerful energy, support and insight that is available to us all.
Also – and this was important – that this angelic realm waits to be invited, needs to be wanted and only appears to us when we ask for help with an open heart and mind. This was one part of a big learning that I gained from the training. I think of the angels and their signs as a reflection of my own inner grace and wisdom, my own source of light and love.
For me, it was a process of uncovering and strengthening my ability to access a range of sacred signs and own these mystical qualities in myself. I also learned and found myself happy for other people to relate to angels more literally as beings outside of themselves.
Week by week I found myself softening in the gentle atmosphere of self-acceptance that Amy’s words convey; both in the concepts she presented to us and also in her very manner of speaking. I learned that I was far from being able to love and accept myself; and I found her simple injunction to bring to every situation the question “what would LOVE do?”to be hugely helpful. I say ‘simple injunction’, but to remember to bring love in, in those moments of challenge and stress with another person or situation, has actually been very difficult for me.
Having the opportunity to re-address my old patterns of reaction and my tendency to blame and withhold was ongoing in my new relationship. Amy’s approach in SC reinforced this, as she consistently offered ways to see ourselves with acceptance for all of who we are and to live with our heart more open, stepping out of darkness and into light. Bringing light to everything.
I found the directness and simplicity of this very healing and empowering too. Amy was living proof to me that sharing one’s own vulnerabilities by telling one’s own personal stories of struggle can be deeply helpful to others – which I’d also experienced in my work as a professional therapeutic counsellor.
I remember a moment in week 4 or 5, when Amy spoke something like these words: “The biggest challenge to my own unfolding has been a deep resistance to joy. Here I was standing in the centre of my life with a rich deep clarity about the message – this work that I wanted to deliver. How could I have come all this way and still be resisting the very thing that I asked for? As it turned out I was afraid of my own power. I was afraid to let myself change.”
Her words spoke to me with such clarity. They could have been my own words, if I’d had the self-awareness to see this! And coming from her, the bare honesty of sharing her realization, hit me as a powerful injunction to look at my own resistance to joy and my fear of my own power.
My relationship with my own fear and my vulnerability is also the source of my gifts.
I knew this already but it hadn’t stopped me often over-identifying with fear, staying small and feeling powerless. The light, love and self acceptance that Soul Caller work taught me initiated change in these areas, bringing the possibility of more joy, more creativity and more power into my life.
I didn’t need to become something other than who I am. I am already enough as I am; if I could just relax into the centre of myself and feel safe to be seen as a sensitive man, worthy, needed, valued – as artist, craftsman, mystic, and ‘keeper of the keys’ of a sanctuary space for others.
In a conversation with Amy, in one of the live calls, which I tried to do as often as I could, partly to challenge my fear and ‘be seen’, a powerful opportunity was presented to me. I found myself saying: “I am willing to see that I am already free!”
I don’t know if these words came from Amy but I suspect they did. They enabled me to cut through layers of conditioning and identify with that higher part of myself, who is always there, but has so often been lost to me, out of reach.
One further ingredient that helped me was the wonderfully supportive sharings on the Facebook group wall. They created for me a healing environment where I could ‘practice’ being seen and accepted, valued and appreciated for who I am, by people I had never met.
This happened in ways that were often deeply moving, healing and transformative; adding further weight to Amy’s very personal and yet universal message. My unfolding continues, Amy and the angels stay with me. I feel much appreciation and gratitude.
~ Ardhan writes: Recent exposure to Soul Caller with Amy and to the power of the Sacred Feminine courtesy of Sally Kempton and Andrew Harvey (Shift Network courses) are enabling me to express my Life Gesture at last. I am supporting my partner in the birth of a small healing centre in Italy and, inspired by Charles Eisenstein’s book The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible, I am creating a website to inspire others; with ideas, quotes, and links to a host of initiatives and people who are unfolding a NEW STORY for us all to live by. Its live, but still in development: www.awakeningnewworld.org
My personal writing blog: www.innerventures.me
My woodwork: www.swatridge.net