A dream which I love (but don’t completely understand)

I dream that my husband Matthew and I are in a stately building – like a courthouse – with high ceilings, wide hallways and marble walls. It feels very cool there, a formal place.

We are in waiting in line for what seems, at first, to be a dry cleaning business, but as we near the front of the line we see that there is an Indian couple, in their 60s or 70s, helping other couples to understand marriage.

“Let’s get married again!” Matthew says, excited.
“Okay,” I say. smiling. I am calm but also very positive – excited but still inside.

The Indian woman is feeding people a casserole of cauliflower, butter and rose petals. She is spooning single bites into our mouths, an offering, a sacrament. It is a fine dish and the scent of rose petals is stronger and stronger as we move closer to her.

The scent of rose petals

Her husband’s name is Ganesha and perhaps hers is Mary. (I don’t remember but the roses seem a clue.)

They are demonstrating what a beautiful long marriage looks like – where there is devotion and friendship and working together side by side. And Matthew says (or maybe I said it) “Do you want our mothers to be here?” and he went looking for them but returned without them.

So we ate of the casserole and something about rose petals happened and we witnessed their beautiful love and the whole time Matthew was holding my hand.

And then we were sent to another room where time passed. We were very happy together for a long breath or two and then we were walking down one of the hallways when we came by a room where  we found Ganesha squatting before a marble wall, sweeping the ashes from a fireplace. His back was turned toward us as he worked so Matthew and I sat on a bench behind him, just to the left.

And in the dream, all the way through, Matthew and I were so young, like 8 years old.

So we sat on the bench, holding hands as Ganesha was working, facing the wall. And then he turned, greeting us warmly and Matthew asked after his wife and Ganesha said, “Oh, she died last night.”

And we were shattered, broken-hearted.

Especially Matthew, who asked, “What happened?” And Ganesha turned and said, quite bewildered, “She collapsed in the kitchen. Just like that,” and he began to cry.

Shoulders shaking, he let himself cry and Matthew said, “I’m so sorry.”

And Ganesha nodded and maybe he said something like, “We think marriage will last forever. All things end.” He seemed surprised by his own feelings.

When I woke up I felt as if I had been to a beautiful ceremony. This dream felt precious and rare and important. A gift.

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  • Kathy

    This is a remarkable vignette, Amy, so detailed and immediate. As I read, I could see it playing out — as if I were watching scenes unfold, rather than just reading about them. It would make a lovely film short.

    • Amy

      Thank you, Kathy. I dreamt it that way, too, like a film, unfolding, scene by scene. I love your idea of a film short. (Today, as I came to re-read it, I was surrounded by the scent of roses. Isn’t that lovely?)

  • Kathy

    If you turn the number 8 on its side, you’ll see the symbol for infinity.

  • Barb

    It so beautiful. I can’t begin to know what it means but it’s very sacred indeed. The roses indicate love and Mother Mary. I love that you were 8 years old. You and Matthew have been together many lifetimes.

    • Amy

      I re-read this dream today – and I think it’s about the end of a marriage of great love. And that is a profound discovery.

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