Letter from a Soul Caller: Anthea Flowers

Mine was not an easy journey, I grew up with an alcoholic dad in an entirely male environment after my Mum left when I was 7. I was the product of too much time left alone, obsessive porn addiction from age 8, multiple sexual abuses, Body Dysmorphic disorder, suicide attempts and drugs and alcohol.I spent my teens and early 20's just trying to escape reality, any way I could. Then, on Christmas Eve, 2001, my Dad, died of a sudden massive heart attack - and in that instant my whole world fell apart. Though he wasn’t perfect, Dad had been my one stable dependable pillar.Now, I had a huge void that nothing could fill, yet I sucked everything in still like a black hole. Six months later, at age 24, I ran off - to the USA, where I married a military man I barely knew, a man who no one had met and spent the next 11 years in the wrong relationship. I was dried up, worn down, tired, with no dreams or even recollection of a voice, or guidance system left.I was nearly at death’s door - sick, unhealthy, an absolute shadow and shell of myself, when through a miracle, I came back to Australia.It took about year for the fog to lift, for the oceanic roar to pull me back from the abyss, for the walks in nature to mend my heart back together with golden rays of sunlight, the sway of leaf canopies and serenades of beautiful birdsong. And I started to remember. Bits. Pieces. Of the way I used to see the world. Of a time I used to believe in Angels and magic and happy ending fairy tales.I got back into meditation, yoga, singing, dancing, I smiled, I laughed, and then one day surfing the internet I found you. Your site called to me. The Soul Caller Training spoke into my heart but I resisted. Life was still messy. I was raising two kids alone, with hubby back in USA. I was just trying to cope. I kept coming back to your page, I read all your work, then you had a Pay-What-You-Can special and it was the moment I knew I couldn't put it off any longer, I needed to do your training.The Soul Caller Training changed my life forevermore. You were the guide, the doorway, the conduit for leading me back home, to my truth, to Love, to believing again, to seeing the miraculous, to hope and to health.You helped me unpack my years of crap, my weighted down-ness, my inability to accept what was. Sweet Amy you held space for me, we talked, you helped me finally after 12yrs say a proper goodbye to my Dad and to allow all that came with that.Again you were there supporting, guiding, helping me see the guidance myself and reminding me of truth and love when my tumultuous marriage finally ended.You brought me back to here, to now, to “what would love do here?” to being okay with the unfolding, to learning to unpack myself with grace and patience. Through you I have met so many wonderful people, a lot of whom I call friends, and to much adored teachers who have nourished and flourished and spread the seeds and watered the garden that you so dearly tended in my heart.A year later and I'm hardly the same person, I am whole, on my journey of each day unravelling as it is meant, of perfect imperfection - up perfecting, of holy yesses, and truthful no's. I live in alignment, in the wide and wild of the Divine mind, in congruence and attunement. And I'm okay with the delicious messiness of this life and of knowing I don't have my shit together, and that I'm not meant to anyway.Amy, you have been, your teachings, your words, your gentle way - all have been life giving, thirst quenching sustenance to the deserts of my soul. I cannot bestow my highest gratitudes to you in words, because none can convey, but please know, you changed my life.

------I'm a mystical mama, moon child, way finder, wild woman, amateur writer, lover of words, book nerd, hot tea aficionado, vegan and owner of mamacitas soulsa who lives in a beautiful little seaside town on the gorgeous east coast of Australia.

When I'm not wandering the beach you'll find me being a single mama to two amazing darlingheart children on the autism spectrum.

I'm currently studying so that I can create workshops incorporating yoga, meditation, mental health, reiki, breathwork and shamanism for women of all ages to target self esteem, self love, sexual abuse survivors, body dysmorphia and whole-istic living to see our innate infinite wisdom as women and girls and to dig from the wellspring of love and beauty we each hold within.