I let you go

Yesterday, while on retreat, I was guided into a spontaneous meditation. I sat and closed my eyes and listened to the energy swirling around me with full attention. It was showing me things. It was speaking to me.I was shown that my own energy was unnecessarily hooked into the energy of many other people - people I love, people I have held in my heart during a crisis, people I am helping through something right now.This 'hooking into' their energy looks like threads, fibers of attention which flows from my body to theirs, offering, holding, giving - but also, receiving, because these threads of energy flow in both directions.When I give, I also receive. When I receive, I also give. This is the way of things. Still, holding onto these threads beyond their time is not healthy or helpful to anyone.I sat and let the threads show themselves to me - and with each thread there was a name and a face and a story. As each thread emerged into my awareness, I said, "I let you go."There were very few threads which did not dissolve easily. Most simply eased away - without a story, without guilt or blame.When it was difficult for me to let a thread go, I sat with it and considered this question: What is the concern that holds my attention here? I easily identified the worry or story that was hooking me - a sense that this person still needed me in some way, that she or he was 'depending' on me. Once I saw the concern, I asked a second question: Is this mine?(I asked this because the problems and challenges of the people we love belong to them - just as our challenges belong to us. We can ask for help - and accept it - but ultimately, these things that arise along the path are invitations into inquiry with our own stories - and often, usually, helping others may involve turning them back to their own resources, talents and strengths. Sometimes, the most important 'helping' I can offer is a reminder that everyone - even those in crisis - has angels of their own - and calling on those angels (in lieu of collapsing into drama or victimhood) can work miracles.)Another way of asking, Is this mine? might be: Does this person really need me to take care of them?And as I was dissolving threads of attachment, I discovered a small few which I sensed did need to stay in place. For example, this thread of light, which I'm holding on my daughter, who is just getting started in the world. Life as a 23-year-old in NYC is a daily up and down and, as her mom, this thread IS mine. But there were other threads I was holding on her which are NOT mine. I knew which ones were finished. I knew which ones were still viable and important to her - and to me.This process was easy and fast. It took five or ten minutes - and yet, the rewards were lasting. I felt refreshed, centered and settled - with increased focus and clarity available for my retreat work. I also felt liberated - lighter - as old threads dissolved, returning their energy back to me.