Reach for who you are

So, here's the report - so far - on the grad school question.  Yes, it's a question. I was pretty clear about it but then, I wasn't.I really don't mind saying this publicly. I don't feel like a flake and I'm not worried that you'll think I can't make up my mind. I'm having this internal conversation out here in the light because SOOO many of my clients and students are having it, too. And I want you to see that it's okay to not know EXACTLY where every step of your journey is leading.It's okay to move forward anyway - it's also okay to change your mind.So, here's what I'm feeling and thinking this evening: I'm not sure.And that's a whole lot of money to spend on something feels even a little bit sideways of what you really want to be doing.What do I really want to be doing? This. Talking with you. Teaching what I've seen and what I know so far. Learning, every day, from everything that I encounter. I want to serve as a conduit, a bridge to healing your story (and my own) of separation. What I mean is, I want to help people become whole.For that, a program in Somatic Studies seemed ideal - it felt like a direct hit to nourish and inform my work but the more that I look at the program, the more I have felt as if something critical to who I am and what I do is missing.And I wonder if it's missing - or if, perhaps, I don't need to get it over there.I am a story-weaver and un-weaver. I help people see the story they seem to be in and the story they seem to be reaching for. I help people to build bridges from the one to the other and to shimmer across those bridges, easily and often, pretty quickly. In other words, I help people change the story they're living.So, as I turn my gaze to my own story, I seem to be in the story of an emerging author/teacher who is making ready to expand into a fuller expression of her work.Across the bridge, I AM her - that teacher, expanded and reaching for even more. And what is SHE reaching for: colleagues in this work, a golden circle of connection with other teachers and thought leaders. I see that SHE is reaching, also, and from a deep place, for art. She is an artist - and she is calling to me to begin making images and working more creatively with my own writing - through memoir, poetry and perhaps, fiction.She is also supported by a strong and willing team -people who love helping people like her shine their work into the world.Back on this side of the bridge, I am working to 'thicken' that story - to add density to it and make it more real. I am doing that by staying engaged with the questions it channels to me across the bridge.By turning my attention there, that bridge also becomes real.Does this make sense? I hope so.For now, I'm working (quite hard) to stay awake to what is happening. To not let it overwhelm me (as it has in the past). I'm ready and willing to stay engaged, aware and open.I'm also working (gently, surgically, with great respect and love) to expand my connections into the communities that serve and explore the same things I'm interested in. In other words, I want colleagues.So tonight, my grad school question sits with me - and I sit with it. Willing to engage. Willing to not know. Willing to share my journey with you - as I'd love to hear about and share yours.