Radiance and Reunion: returning the divided self to wholeness
And Amy has reminded us to talk about Radiance today. And so we shall and we will begin by saying that all things radiate. All things have a center, a point of constellation and radiance. And from that center, all things radiate. And we are showing Amy two images: a sun and a stone. And it is clear that a sun is radiant. Anyone can see the light, bursting forth in all directions to illuminate every surface of the world. Yet a stone is just sitting there, absorbing heat and light. Where is the constellating center of this stone?
And we will say that this is Nathaniel and Daniel and Uriel and Martin and we are speaking as one man, one voice. And we are here with you and it is good and all is well. Truth to tell. And we begin with meditation. And all things share a heart – not a physical heart but a center point of radiance). And the world is made of pixillations – center points and this is hard to understand and, for now, beyond your understanding. But we are showing Amy the image of a net of jewels; a matrix, studded with points of connection and at each point where gridlines cross there are …. opportunities for constellating forms.
And Amy is getting lost in the picture and is not listening/attending to us so we will draw her attention back and ask her to let us explain. And she concurs/is in accord with this. And we are many and we are one and so this may be understood – we are here today to write through you, Amy, a message of joy and peace and yes, radiate. And we will see our message served if you will allow it. And so we say…
Amy stops us and asks us to speak in one voice. “Decide who is speaking,” she says out loud. And there is a pause as we caucus/confer and we ask her to feel for the thread she would choose, the thread she prefers. And as yesterday she is unable to choose between Daniel and Nathaniel and this is instructive for her unfolding – for she sees one as more comfortable and the other as more liberating and speaking with Daniel will require (she believes) more courage – and she feels uncertain she is worthy/ready/capable but mostly this is about worth and the wound of abandonment which she is healing and making whole at this time.
And so we will guide her in this today. April 12th in the year of 2016. And we begin by encouraging her to take this journey she is envisioning as a symbolic ‘camino’ of discovery and a metaphor for crossing over – crossing into/closing the gap of separation in herself. Separation of the true self/Christed self from the named self. In Amy they are very close now and we will pause and explain these two selves to you.
First, we will say that there is only one self and the illusion of the two selves is what we are here, with this work, to address and to make whole. And this is an act of forgiveness and we will explain this in due time but first we will lay out the matter before you.
The divided self is/was a method of learning which has now come to the end of its usefulness. It was intended to be a teaching tool whereby humanity might glimpse itself in action: a ‘watcher’ and a ‘doer’, as it were. Yet (over time) the Watcher took dominion and enslaved the Doer, commanding it to behave and conform and not make waves. And this is the work of unbinding these commands and this is the liberation of the Doer AND the Watcher through the journey of the divided mind to the heart and soul And we are having a challenge finding the image and words to demonstrate this to Amy.
Pause to confer/caucus. We are drawing Amy’s attention to a chandelier crystal refracting sunlight into her eye and we ask her to focus there as we flow our message into form.
The way of union is the way of joy/flow, the way of opening to allow joy to move the body without the attendance of the Watcher to every detail. And this is the end of anxiety as you will see and come to experience and to know.
And we say that this joy-led life is a union of/surrender of (we search for the word string). The joy-led life is a function/result of the awakening of the heart and its invitation to the Watcher to come home – to re-turn. An invitation from the willing heart to draw the exiled Watcher down the stairs from the watch tower and into the circle of inclusion.
And this is the invitation to the terrified child, who disassociated from the horrible thing; and this is the invitation to the numb and lonely teenager, hiding in her room; and this is the invitation to the woman, sitting alone watching television with her glass of wine; and this is the invitation to the man, empty and alone, surfing the internet for pornography.
This is the invitation. All of these are Watchers – who have separated from connection with the Doer – the active, joy-led choice maker. And we are calling them home. Home to reunion, to re-turn, to re-unification, to re-memberingthe wholeness of who and what they are. Come home now. You are welcome to return.
We are showing Amy this picture: millions of souls walking through the world, tethered by cords of love to the bodies they made and chose and are meant to inhabit. Yet they float above. As if each body is walking around with its own balloon self, floating just above. And this balloon self is the Watcher, afraid to come inside.
And we are speaking now to the Watchers – what do you need? What would help you to descend, to come into the beautiful body to which you are tethered and to let it surround you and hold you safe and warm What do you need? Help us to understand and to help you now to come home.
And we are speaking now to the beautiful body, abandoned by the fearful Watcher: we see you and we love you and we would help to ease your pain and reunite you with the one who made you and who now holds herself, holds himself apart. The one who is watching and who is listening now, to this conversation about reunion.
And Amy is uncertain about this image. It’s upsetting her and making her feel sad. All of these balloon souls! She is asking, How in the world will we ever heal this? How in the world can she ever help them? And we draw her attention to the one story she can work with. The only one – her own.
And her sadness is the felt experience of the body which is longing to be honored and occupied and listened to. And this sadness comes/happens as the Watcher, becoming curious, descends, a little at a time, back through the feeling self (emotion) into the flesh of the sensing/physical self. (There are layers to these things and as you move toward one you pass through the other.)
And this journey from floating above to feeling to embodiment – to allowing the Watcher to enter the rooms of the self and fulfill (fully fill) them is the journey from separation to return; this is the journey of moving down the soft tether of connection that has always united them into reunion of body and soul, heart and mind. Watcher and Doer.
And yes, it is true that all is already one and this is the journey of that in perception, in realization. This is the journey of the awakening inside of that knowing in certainty. Until you are embodied and fully filled, the flesh saturated with the radiance of the self.
And so, Amy, we draw your attention to this journey that you feel called to make – to drive in your car from one side of your country to the other side. This journey is a symbol of this call to embodiment. This journey is a metaphor of journey itself. The call to drive the land and feel it beneath your wheels is one way and many have made this journey and you can, too. Yet some have made ‘camino’ in other ways – the crossing is here, always, and you can make it across any terrain – on foot or on bicycle, by rail or in a car. You can make this journey on a sheet of paper by tracing the route from no feeling to feeling. This journey can be traversed by crossing a single room.The passing through space in time and witnessing yourself passing from one point to the next. This is the journey – this is making real the metaphor of crossing over. This is the way. This has always been the way.
Indeed, making this journey is a metaphor (a symbol) for the wider, less apparent metaphor of being here at all. For as a human being, you have already started this journey. You, a soul, chose to come here – to this place at this time. You chose to descend into the density of the world of form – to allow your spirit self to sink into the slower, more dense vibration of the earth. Of mud and soil, of earth and clay. To grow yourself a body and sink into that, to inhabit that and to stay in it.
To stay in it. And that is the work of being human at this time. To re-member how to stay.
And we are here to help you return to that choice and that path through the reunion of the floating separate self, the disembodied, disassociated Watcher with the flesh-made self/the manifest self, your own body. And for many of you, this will seem a painful challenge. A sorrow will come over you as you see the ways that you’ve abandoned your physical vessel and allowed it to sink into symptoms and suffering. And then, as you re-claim yourself, you will experience the return of the light. A bright and radiant spark will begin to glow. For like all things, you are constellated around a center and this center is who you are and it has called you home and it is Love.
And we are showing Amy the image of the ones who have died and then returned to tell of the journey through the tunnel of white light and the conversation with the angel who says, It is not yet your time to leave the physical realm, and who then, sends them home. And this is just like that path and we are that angel, and we are Nathaniel and Daniel, Uriel and Elijah, and we are calling you back to your life now. We are walking with you along this path of golden light and inviting you home – inviting you, Amy, and every reader of this text, to set for yourself a journey – symbolic or literal – and walk it step-by-step with the clarity and certainty that it will lead to reunion.
And here is how to set that journey:
What calls to me? What do I need so much that I’d be willing to set a course, to journey, to retrieve it? For Amy, the journey began as an ache in her heart for her beloved daughter who was one moment by her side and the next moment across the country, out of reach. And as her journey developed, she understood: I am willing to journey toward her because of what I am when I am with her, And in seeing this, she understood that she is not journeying only to reunite with her daughter but with the part of herself which has been floating above her life, above her body, since she was the age of this daughter. And it’s time to bring that disembodied self back home.
And so we ask you now: What part of yourself floats above? How old is it and what does it love and need?
And are you willing to journey a while to retrieve that – and are you willing to come home?
And if not, feel into the ache in your heart which holds you separate from this invitation to return. What part of yourself is unwilling to come down? Are you floating above yourself full of judgement and blame? Are you floating above yourself full of regret and shame? Are you watching your body grow sicker and wearier and more full of pain? Are you watching yourself move numbly from bedroom to workplace to sofa to bedroom, never once experiencing the joy of being alive?
We see you. And we love you and we hear your cries and feel with you, your pain. Our hearts are with yours, dear one. And yet, we know how close you are to the end of suffering, to reunion, right here on earth.
And we are raising your vibration, even as you read these words and all is all and you are already moving through the tunnel and into the bright room of light that waits for you, always.
And we are here with you in love and love is here with you.
And you are here, even now, with love.