This argument you're having with your partner/ brother/ mother/ neighbor is a soul call

---Arguing? Ready to tell this person standing before you just what he or she should do?Wait. I have something to tell you:That SHOULD you're cooking up is a soul call.Only it's not for the person standing before you, it's for you.What to do:1) Catch the thought. What do you think should happen?"She SHOULD notice how hard I work.""He SHOULD appreciate the effort I made on this meal.""People SHOULDN'T treat each other that way."2) Inquire within: What is this 'should' calling for?"She should notice... "is calling for recognition."He should appreciate... "is calling for appreciation."People shouldn't treat each other that way"is calling for kindness.... and all of them are shades of a deeper call: for love.so begin there.Let yourself experience the deeper call. The REAL reason you think this person SHOULD recognize, appreciate, be kind or love you.You want to connect.Love is calling to you - and you are using your SHOULD's to push it away.Stop.*Breathe.*Come into your own heart.And repeat after me...I am sorry that I used this person to separate from...recognitionappreciationkindness...love.Please forgive me. (Say this to yourself.)This closes the illusion that there's a gap between you and the love that you needForgive yourself for not understanding- move from separation to unity.Let love have you. Let it sweep through you.Recognize the love that you are. The love that is here with you.Appreciate the love that you are. The love that is here with you.Be kind to the love that you are. The love that is here with you.Extra Credit:The next time you catch yourself thinking what someone else 'should' offer to you - attention, understanding, affection, a little romance - offer it to them.

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Vanessa Anstee Interview with Amy Oscar

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VIDEO: Why we resist guidance - and what we can do about it.